Exertions of the sales circuit something J Lo could relate to

IT WON’T surprise you to learn that Jennifer Lopez and I don’t have much in common. I’ve never released a platinum-selling album, performed at the Super Bowl half-time show or had the dubious honour of being named ‘rear of the year’.

However, as a new year of sales kicks into gear, I can’t help but find myself relating to her chart-topping hit On The Floor. Or at least one verse in particular, as I’d be about as frequent a visitor to the dance floor as J Lo (right) is to the horses-in-training sales.

In the 2011 single, Lopez sings, “We never quit, we never rest on the floor. If I ain’t wrong we’d probably die on the floor. Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza. Straight to

LA, New York, Vegas to Africa.”

If you replace the words ‘on the floor’ with ‘at the sales’ you end up with something close to the sales correspondent’s mantra. Although if possible I would like to avoid the ignominy of keeling over while on duty, and admittedly I can’t compete with Lopez’s list of exotic destinations. Instead, the last fortnight has consisted of trips to Doncaster, Cheltenham and then straight to not LA but Newmarket for the Tattersalls February Sale.

It may not be the kind of audience J Lo is used to performing in front of but there was still a healthy crowd packed into the iconic auditorium shortly before 11am on Thursday. But the seats weren’t full of prospective purchasers eagerly awaiting Lot 1. Instead they were there for the annual Thoroughbred Breeders’ Association’s Flat Stallion Parade.

There were seven young stallions to admire, each with their own charms, but one among the group stood out both literally and figuratively. It has been roughly seven years and three months since Stradivarius last strutted his flashy chestnut stuff at Park Paddocks, and a lot has happened since.

Seven Group 1s top a record of 20 wins, with his performances having earned close to £3.5 million in prizemoney, two £1m Weatherbys Hamilton Stayers’ Million bonuses and genuine turf legend status. And to think that buyers missed the chance to take the son of Sea The Stars off Bjorn Nielsen’s hands when

he was a vendor buyback at 330,000gns.

If Thursday’s reception is anything to go by, breeders aren’t about to pass up the opportunity to get behind Stradivarius at the second time of asking now he resides at the National Stud.

Once the parade was over it was straight down to business. Trade was fairly routine throughout, as reflected by an end-of-sale median of 7,000gns, but the high point of the day arrived when Tweenhills presented the Group 2-winning and Classicplaced Now Or Never in foal to the farm’s 2,000 Guineas hero Kameko.

The gangway filled up as a host of parties threw their hat into the proverbial ring but, as has so often been the case of late, it was Michael Donohoe of BBA Ireland who lasted longest with a bid of 250,000gns. The agent couldn’t reveal who he was acting on behalf of, but given he also secured top lots Alcohol Free and Aspiring during the breeding stock sales at Tattersalls and Goffs, and they were both for Yulong Investments, that operation would seem a likely candidate. Time will tell.

While the breeding stock sales tend to have an end-ofterm vibe, with industry

players looking forward to a well-earned festive break having survived another sales season, these midwinter dates can feel more like a first day back at school as people catch up after a few weeks apart.

I was reminded how the social aspect of the sales scene helps to grease the wheels of business when I introduced a couple of my friends to one another. One works for a major stud and the other is an aspiring breeder, and it wasn’t long before they were getting down to brass tacks. Nominations were discussed, hands were duly shaken and terms successfully negotiated. Next time I make an introduction like this I’ll be sure to explain that I’ll be charging a commission for my services.

As well as the serious stuff, there is usually plenty of gossip to pick up on at the sales. This trip to Tattersalls was no exception, but as I don’t particularly want a libel case coming my way most of what I heard can’t be repeated in print. Unfortunately.

However, I did enjoy the talk of a prominent industry figure somehow racking up a substantial bill at a well-known high street retailer that essentially specialises in pencil sharpeners and half-price celebrity biographies. It may

not be the most scandalous thing I’ll hear all year; in fact this was probably unusually wholesome by bloodstock industry standards.

NONETHELESS, the mind still boggles at what the money went on. I’m sure some smart arse out there would rush to tell me you could say the same about this individual’s record as a buyer too, but I couldn’t possibly comment on that.

Tattersalls’ team of auctioneers kept their foot on the accelerator throughout the session, which meant they offered the last of 180 lots well before 7pm. This gave me and a colleague, bloodstock commercial manager Charlie Allen, time for a nightcap once we’d arrived back in London.

Although it’s named after Francois Doumen’s Cheltenham Gold Cup winner, The Fellow in King’s Cross probably doesn’t quite qualify as a racing pub.

There was no television showing Chelmsford and noone approached us to ask how the day’s sale had gone. The walls in the gents used to be decorated with old copies of the Racing Post, but even they had been painted over.

At least I’m assuming that’s what’s happened. Perhaps that was just a layer of primer and they’re actually about to update the decor with a few of last year’s sales reports. I’m sure some would argue that’s where my work belongs.

The clientele may not have been die-hard racing aficionados either, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t the odd interaction. And odd is very much the operative word.

As I stood up to leave I noticed the couple on the table next to me looking roughly in my direction at around waist height. They both turned away furtively when they saw me looking at them, but then swiftly resumed their tandem staring once they thought the coast was clear. I looked around but couldn’t figure out what had caught their attention. I glanced in their direction again.

“We were just looking at a cigarette on the floor,” said the woman as she attempted to stifle a giggle, before her male companion interjected in a rather more matter-of-fact tone. “We were actually looking at your bum.”

Thankfully Charlie returned from the Racing Post-free toilets at an opportune moment, so I made a hasty exit before the exchange could go any further. I’ll never know who was telling the truth, but I couldn’t see a cigarette on the floor. Maybe a rear of the year award isn’t entirely out of the question after all.

Frustratingly, train strikes put paid to Friday’s return trip to Newmarket so I had no choice but to write up day two from my sofa. Thankfully there was no sign of industrial action in the Tattersalls bidding area as a further 158 lots sold, which in turn added 2,736,300gns to the February Sale turnover of 4,141,800gns.

Covering the action remotely isn’t ideal, but I’d rather be stuck at home than stranded in Newmarket. Otherwise, as J Lo suggests, I really would have ended up On The Floor. Although I’m sure spending the night sleeping under the Tatts press bench isn’t what she had in mind.